Many coaches and individuals often find themselves in a familiar loop when trying to change a habit. The typical approach, especially in some forms of hypnosis and NLP, is to identify a behaviour you want to stop and then simply swap it for a new one.
Think of it this way: someone wants to quit smoking. The common method is to say, "Okay, instead of smoking, I'll eat mints." You identify the trigger that makes them want a cigarette, and then you install a new trigger, so every time they feel that urge, that tiredness, that need to do something, they reach for a mint instead. It seems logical, doesn't it? You're replacing one behaviour with another.
The Problem with Behaviour Swapping
The challenge with this approach is that you're essentially just swapping one behaviour for a different one. While it might work in the short term, it often doesn't stick because you haven't addressed the underlying reason for the original behaviour. It's like putting a new coat of paint on a crumbling wall, it looks better for a while, but the foundation is still weak.
At a foundational level of NLP, we understand that true, lasting change doesn't happen by simply exchanging one action for another. It happens at a much deeper level.
The Power of Identity Shift
Instead of going from a behaviour to a new behaviour, what we aim for is a shift from a behaviour to a new identity. This is where the real magic happens, and it's what makes changes permanent.
To achieve this, you first need to understand what's truly motivating the current, often detrimental, behaviour. How does the person see themselves that they would engage in something they know isn't good for them, yet they still think it's okay? This requires a bit of digging into their personal history, understanding the context that shaped their current self-perception.
Uncovering Your True Self
If someone is engaging in behaviours that aren't serving them, chances are they're not living out their best version of themselves. So, the next crucial step is to help them figure out what that "best version" would look like.
What do they truly want to be? What do they want to have? What do they want to do? It's about helping them envision a future where they are living authentically, aligned with their deepest desires and values.
Envisioning Your Best Version
Once they can clearly see themselves becoming that person, once they can identify with that future version of themselves, then the shift can occur. For instance, instead of just saying, "I want to stop smoking," they can say, "I see my future self as fit, healthy and strong, and that's the person I want to become."
When you apply NLP techniques with this understanding, you're not just switching a behaviour, you're switching an identity. You're moving from one way of being to a completely new, empowered way of being.
Making the Change Stick
This is what makes the change stick, it's called an identity shift. When you make a change at the identity level, it integrates deeply and lasts forever. The new behaviour isn't just something you do, it's who you are.
Many people don't teach NLP this way, focusing only on surface-level behaviour changes. But here, we delve into the core, helping you or your clients create profound, lasting transformations by shifting identity itself.